There has been an exorbitantly loud banging happening in my apartment since 10:37 this morning – a reasonable time, sure; only those who work night shifts have justifiable reason to be angry that sleeping in was not possible on a Tuesday morning. But for tenants like myself who do not disappear from 9 to 5, nerves start to fray when one is subjected to ceaseless banging that is loud enough that it reverberates inside one’s skull. I’m not sure if it is for the best that there are sporadic breaks – ahh, sweet relief – or if it just makes it that much harder when it starts up again.
Either way, anger was festering inside because I was forced to make a choice I didn’t want to make. Sure, I could just leave the house and escape the noise, eliminating that problem. But my ideal had been to stay at home and make progress on my creative projects, and now that couldn’t happen (because that, of course, did not include insanity-inducing banging) due to circumstances beyond my control.
As I paced back and forth, each blow feeling like it would be the one to blow the gasket and send me into a tizzy of rage and despair (I’m only being slightly hyperbolic here), I realized that the obnoxiously loud hammering and thumping was really not forcing me to do, or not do, anything. It’s always up to me. And how often is it I that chooses to simmer in a stew of inaction because conditions are not perfectly ideal? I wait until I feel ready or until the situation is so idealistic that [supposedly] it will be impossible for me to fail, neither or which happen all that often…ever.
So I thought, what the hay, today is as good a day as any to start up my blog. Because it’s been 2 YEARS since I had the idea (I know because that’s when the site tells me I published my first post – which was only a good old “Test, test”) and somehow all I’ve done is let the concept float around my mind since then. So clearly today must be just as good a day as any if there were really no other days in 2 years that were deemed worthy. So now I have taken the first, and hardest step.
And now I really need to get out of here.